Anonymous Source Tells Reporters That He’s Tired Of Being Speaker Of The House

A blood-soaked mayor Bloomberg announces that homelessness is no longer a problem in New York City, Guinness World Records promotes the man who can lift 27 pounds with his tongue to editor-in-chief, and a child sees no reason why his iron man costume can't be worn to his grandfather's funeral. It's the week of October 18, 2013.
The Onion Playlist